Decluttering for Life’s Changes

“Sometimes, good things fall apart so better things can fall together.” - Marilyn Monroe

Life has a way of shaking things up!

One minute, you're coasting along, and the next, you're trying to wrap your head around a change that life has thrown at you. It could be a big or small loss (both are valid), moving house, or perhaps facing a health diagnosis.

As a Declutter Coach & Professional Organiser, I've worked with countless clients who, whether they realise it or not, are using decluttering to process life's biggest shifts. They're navigating a rollercoaster of emotions, adjusting to a new normal and reconciling life 'before' and 'after' their life event. Because here's the thing: life changes don't just affect how you feel - they also impact your home. And your home, in turn, impacts how you feel. Which is why it can be helpful to be aware that decluttering is a two-way process: outside-in and inside-out.

Let me explain.

When I left my corporate job, to go on maternity leave and then be a full-time mum, the change hit me hard. On one hand, I was overjoyed to finally have my little boy. On the other hand, I grieved the loss of my pre-baby freedom, routine...and sleep! My world felt small. I was overwhelmed. And keeping my home clean and tidy? That was the last thing on my mind (and honestly, I was okay with that - my son and my mental health were my priority).

As time went on, I started to feel increasingly stuck and muddled. For example, my wardrobe was full of professional workwear and maternity clothes which I didn't need any more, but I just couldn’t let them go. Meanwhile, baby items were everywhere – feeding equipment, baby bouncers, nappies, clothes in every size, toys multiplying overnight (or so it seemed). My physical environment had become a jumbled mix and I really felt it!

That’s when I realised that decluttering is a two-way process: outside-in and inside-out. The outside being our environment, and inside, being our thoughts, feelings and mindset.

Decluttering from the Outside-In 📦

Sometimes, having a clear-out of the excess 'stuff' is the first step in adjusting to change. When you clear the physical clutter, you create space - not just in your home, but in your mind. This process can be energising, even exciting. (Just don’t let excitement turn into a ‘rage purge’ – never make big decluttering decisions when emotions are running high!).

Each item you sort is an opportunity to decide: "does this move forward with me, or is it something I can leave behind?" And yes, emotions will come up. Memories will be triggered. But in working through these physical items, you will also find a level of acceptance for the changes you’re processing.

Here are some examples:

👚 A wardrobe purge - If your wardrobe is bulging, yet you have nothing to wear, it's time to be honest about your reality right now. What have you kept because it reminds you of a past version of yourself (like my professional workwear)? Which items make you feel 'less than' because you can't, or won't, wear them?

🥘 A kitchen purge - Perhaps you have always LOVED to cook and your kitchen is well-stocked with appliances and gadgets galore! These days, however, you rely on simple dishes because chopping and standing is too painful.

📄 A paperwork purge - 'Paperwork' covers a range of sub-categories, such as statements, cards and personal letters. Decide which sub-category will be easiest to tackle and start there.

But what if you’re not ready for that yet? That’s where inside-out decluttering comes in. 👇

Decluttering from the Inside-Out 🧠

If your nervous system is stuck in fight-flight-freeze mode or if you’re grieving, jumping straight into sorting through your belongings might feel impossible. That’s okay. You’ll know when you’re ready. Until then, start with decluttering from the inside-out, by focusing on your mindset first.

Here’s how:

1. Acknowledge how you REALLY feel - not how you think you should feel. Change is unsettling, and your feelings are valid. Journal about it, make a list, or record a voice note to yourself. Do whatever helps you process what has happened and how you're feeling today.

2. Connect with your body. Movement and mindfulness can help calm your mind and ease anxiety. Try breathwork, a walk, stretching, or meditation to reduce stress and feel more grounded.

3. Give yourself time for reflection. In the busyness of everyday life, we don't always stop to check in with ourselves. Set a timer for 10 minutes, sit somewhere quiet, and see what thoughts and feelings come up.

4. Look toward the future. Ask yourself: "What do I want this next chapter to look like? How do I want to feel? What do I need to say no to? What are my non-negotiables?" Write it down in as much detail as possible.

These steps will help you to find a sense of acceptance. And when you reach that point, you'll feel more ready to tackle the clutter of the physical space around you.

So, whether you'd prefer to start by clearing the clutter from your home, or your mind, trust the process. Your space, your mind, and your future self will thank you.

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Other resources to help you clear the clutter:

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